Grief Scapes

The Grief Scapes are a watercolor series I began after my mother succumbed to ovarian cancer on January 4, 2022. The impulse for this material was surprising to me, as I am generally a photographer and multimedia sculptor. I hadn’t touched watercolors in at least 20 years. Trusting the process, I thought of these small paintings- approximately 3.5”x5.5”- as little “scapes”; not quite defined as land/sea/sky-scapes but their own scenic auras. I realized, they were “grief scapes”; whole atmospheres in which expressions of loss and mourning have been released. The scale conveys the level of intimacy and vulnerability. The colors are chosen intuitively, sometimes in response to some emotional upheaval I need to process. Each set of 24-36 images per session has become a complete meditation. The number of small paintings in one set reveals my photography background; 24 exposures were on a roll of film and they are displayed in rows akin to printed contact sheets. Research shows that in grief, the brain reverts to its functioning before suffering major loss, and I have experienced the resurfacing of photography formats I began at a very young age. I continue to engage in this practice at least once a week, and the Grief Scapes have become a keystone series in exploring my Grief Journey.